Jeff Cobb vs Shingo
Takagi
Both these dudes are at their best when they’re in there
with smaller dudes they can hoss around, which bode well for Jeff Cobb here and
is always gonna be a problem for Shingo in this here G1 where almost everyone
is bigger than him with the exception of maybe Ospreay and Birdman Sabre Jr.,
but neither of them are in Shingo’s block so he’s kinda fucked. Also, I know it’s
weird that I keep weaving in and out of off analyzing this from the detached
version of a wizened old smark and blathering on like this is all real and in
between making tasteless sex jokes and proposing to Mihi Abe, but that is just
the way you’re gonna have to roll with me, okay?
Anyway, Shingo is quicker than Jeff Cobb so that was his only
real shot here, but Cobb is adept at catching quick people and then tossing
them around like so much sacks of meat, and this made for a reasonably pleasant
encounter between two dudes who aren’t gonna win this thing but who you don’t
really want to see get embarrassed either. In the end, we all had fun, Jeff
Cobb got to toss Shingo around, and Shingo got to experience life in the G1,
which is no place for the sane or beautiful but luckily Shingo is neither so he’ll
be alright in the end.
Toru Yano vs Jon
Moxley
I have said it many times, but Toru Yano remains a poem, and
he uses his poetic nature to cast spells on people and make them weave and out
of the dreamland that is his world, and sometimes – not everytime – but sometimes,
he does this to such effect that he can slay people he has no business slaying,
and so it was true here.
You have to give Moxley credit for leaning into this and not
letting himself come off like a humorless ass, and although he went down in
defeat to sweet Yano, there is no shame in this, and his willingness to dance
in the dreamland with Yano will only endure himself further to the Japanese
fans and to me and to you here in this G1 of our hearts.
It is also heartening to see that Moxley respects his young
boy, and does not blame him for his own faults, as many lesser men would do in
such a scenario. And this is a lesson for Shota Umino, who can see that the
most secure men do not need to massage their egos and can nobly accept their
part in the whirlwind poetic dreamland of Toru Yano. It is good to learn these
things, and all three men here came out of this better for it. And so have all
of us.
Juice Robinson vs
Tetsuya Naito
Juice’s ability to play Naito’s game before the match was
fun to watch, and even though Naito disrespected and mocked Juice throughout
their match, you could tell that it was with grudging admiration. Also, it
helped that Juice was willing to let him drop him on his head a couple of times.
For Juice, it must be frustrating to be so close to beating
someone like Naito, and yet he has to take heart that the people are still with
him, even though they all love Naito. I mean, even when Naito was mocking
Juice, the fans took it as an opportunity to try to rally their adopted white
son, and that means maybe more than a single victory in the G1 could mean.
Maybe.
Naito remains inflappable, the Tranquillo star rider who
doesn’t have time for being anyone’s friend or for falling prey to the passions
of the heart. To ride above your own fire, to not let it command you, is a
difficult thing to do, and I commend him for it. He is a man of his own making,
a man who does what he wants when he wants, and that is something you have to
respect. He is also just so damn good at wrestling without having to get drawn
into the Honor Strike Exchange that takes so many dudes and so many matches,
and his athleticism, speed and prowly wit make for a nice break from the norm.
These two dudes are very different people, and yet they are similar in their
trueness to themselves, and in the end, they can mock each other all they want,
but they know that they haven’t surrendered and given themselves away, and that
is the most important thing of all. Except for maybe love, but still, it’s
close.
Taichi vs Jay White
What happens when the two biggest dickheads in town run into
each other? You get to see in these types of meetings who is just a straight up
sociopath and who is just a wounded boy hiding behind his own insolence, holding
the world in utter contempt and himself perhaps more than all. And so it was
here, as Jay White’s sociopathy guided him to victory, and Taichi’s wounded boy
struggled to save face while not asking for help or offering no apologies.
And there was Miho Abe, lovely Miho Abe, serving as the Miss
Elizabeth for a new age and a new breed of man, and there was Taichi coming to
her aid when the villain Jay White sought to use her to his advantage, and even
though Taichi mistreats Miho Abe, it is only because he hates himself, and to
lose her, to allow her to be violated by scum like Jay White, is something he
can’t abide because she is the only part of himself that he does not hate.
And to summon his inner warrior, no matter how buried deep
beneath the layers of contempt, and fire off brutal kicks in the defense of his
twisted love and his own fucked up sense of pride, was moving to me. Taichi is
not a good man, but who among us is? I wanted him to beat Jay White because it
turns out that there are dickheads and there are dickheads who just want to be
loved, and while no one may love him but Miho Abe, Taichi can at least look at
himself in the mirror and know that he is not so hated as the man from New
Zealand who is loved by no one and who will be broken one day on the altar of
his own vanity.
Tomohiro Ishii vs
Hirooki Goto
Ishii is always gonna come out of these matches ennobled and
beloved because his DNA is infused in the entire tournament, setting the
standard year after year for others to follow to win the love and support of
the crowd. But Hirooki Goto needs to win sometimes, and he needs to be able to
do it against someone like Tomohiro Ishii or like Jay White, someone who the
fans know are above him in the pecking order. It allows him to retain face even
as we know that he probably isn’t gonna be the man who wins the block.
No one can match Ishii when it comes to simple brute willingness,
the desire to simply get in there and bludgeon his opponent and himself in the
pursuit of being known as the hardest man alive, and it is difficult for anyone
else to live against something like that, but Goto hung in as Goto always hangs
in, and in the end he came away with the win and showed everyone that he is
maybe not finished quite yet.
It has to be hard being Goto and realizing that you’re never
gonna be loved or respected as much as the top tier guys, but he is still a
warrior poet, and anyone who is personally endorsed by Katsuyori Shibata must
be allowed some modicum of dignity out there. I like Goto. I know a lot of
people don’t have time for him anymore, but I sympathize with his plight and
appreciate his willingness to fire it up so that he doesn’t get dragged down to
the fate of a simple Yoshi Hashi. These are tough times, brutal times, times in
which 20 men thunder against one another for G1 glory, and it is all too easy
to get overwhelmed by it all. A dude like Yoshi Hashi can’t handle it. A
youngster like Toa Henare would give it his best go but get quickly demoralized
by his lack of success. But Hirooki Goto goes out there every year and still
fires it up and doesn’t get shamed and that is noble and fine and we should
honor him for that. It would be nice to see him go on a monster run and upset
everyone, but even if that doesn’t happen, and it won’t, he has at least shown
that he can still run with the best and can be a dude who can main event a G1
card even though most have written him off. Keep fighting Goto. You probably
won’t win, but you haven’t lost either and that’s not something most dudes can
say.
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