Toru Yano vs Jeff Cobb
In a match where Jeff Cobb is the designated Throws guy,
Toru Yano actually had the sickest throw. That in itself is a poem written on the
heart of a bird and flown into space to exist in stasis forever and ever and
ever. Of course, I would have liked it
better if Yano beat Jeff Cobb, but we don’t always get what we want, and I
guess I will just have to accept that Toru Yano will never be properly understood
by the nerds, but that doesn’t really matter because the masses understand Toru
Yano like dogs unconditionally love their masters and it’s all good.
Tomohiro Ishii vs Taichi
I can relate to a dude like Taichi a little bit, and not
just because of the whole Miho Abe thing. He is talented yet lazy, and he sabotages
himself at times because he’s scared of what will happen when he actually gets
what he wants. He makes Poor Choices, and this has left him sort of drifting on
a sea of his own burned potential, content to beat up nerds and fuck Miho Abe
even though he knows he’s just using her because she’ll do whatever he wants
and it is a kind of sickness, to take advantage of someone’s love like that, but
people do it because it’s easier than being the man worthy of that love, and it
all ends in heartbreak once poor Miho Abe wakes up one day and realizes she has
wasted all her prime years on a broken thing like me and Taichi because we’re
never gonna get better. Not really. This is who we are, babe.
But then there is a man like Tomohiro Ishii, a goddamn nerd
who has worked hard and won in life despite his shortcomings. And he looks at
you, and a long time ago you used to be friends, but now he just feels sorry
for you, and it wakes something up in your heart, or maybe just your ego or
what’s left of it, and you remember that you are better than him, that old man
Kawada taught you how to kick everyone’s head off, and so you roll up on Ishii
in front of his wife and kids, him thinking he’s made it, and you beat the shit
out of him because you can. It feels good, for a while anyway. His kids are
crying, His wife is ashamed of him, and Miho Abe saw you at you warrior best.
But it doesn’t last because Taichi’s problem is Taichi, and he’ll just go back
to being a lazy shithead who knows he ruined his life, and he’ll just wait for
that day when Miho Abe walks on him.
And Ishii will pick himself back up and he’ll work hard and
he’ll do all the right things, his kids will love him again, his wife will let
him fuck her and he’ll just keep grinding while you go back to being a failure,
a disappointment, a lazy sideman for old man Suzuki, and you’ll resent Ishii even
though you know it’s your fault and Ishii will have a happy life, his kids will
love him, his wife will hold him as he dies, and you’ll drive by Miho Abe’s new
place with her new dude after she left you and you’ll watch her and you’ll see
her smile and you’ll hate yourself forever because you loved her, but you were
a coward and now all that’s left is regret and the memory of that time you beat
up Tomohiro Ishii to prove that you could have been something once, that you
could have had love.
Juice Robinson vs Jon Moxley
This was always gonna be about Juice getting his revenge on
Moxley as Mox rides off into the AEW sunset this fall on TNT, and it was a good
story, telling a tale of young Juice having to grow up and learn how to fight like
a man.
Moxley’s downfall was his desire to destroy Juice, to prove
a point that he didn’t need to make, and Juice caught him in his hubris and
became the man that New Japan Pro Wrestling wants him to be, which you could
hear by the wild shrieks of the Budokan faithful, who have come to love Juice
as one of their own, a good boy who does things the right way.
From here, I imagine Juice will win back his US title from
Mox, who has nothing to be ashamed of as he did what he set out to do, which
was to prove that he was a legit professional wrestler of the best kind and I
imagine we’ll probably see him pop up in New Japan here and there in the years
to come as AEW does it’s thing and Vince McMahon drifts deeper into the heart of
darkness of his own senility, and it will all be fun and these two dudes will
meet again, and it’s nice to see professional wrestling be reborn in a way that
no one really saw coming.
Hirooki Goto vs Shingo Takagi
Poor Goto. All he had to do was take down Takagi and he
would be living his B Block champion dreams, but instead, Goto does what Goto
always does and loses when the fire is the hottest, and Shingo gets some
momentum as he tries to prove that he’s a heavyweight spirit warrior that deserves
to maybe hang around the upper card places with Ishii and the gang.
This was a good match, of course, especially because these
two dudes seem especially suited to wrestle one another given their similar
size profiles. It made for a lot of fun, and I would like to see them wrestle
more, and maybe bring Ishii into it and just have fun fellas, slapping each other
and dropping heads now and then. It’s what bros do.
Tetsuya Naito vs Jay White
Naito is spurned again, and I’m surprised because they had
me fooled thinking Naito was gonna make a run at the double champion thing, but
I’m also not surprised because Jay White is the favored son right now and he
fucking deserves it. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, I think he
might be the best dude out there right now. He just does everything right, from
the character work to the sick throws, to the sinewy movements that let him
roll with the most athletic dudes out there. He just has it all down cold, and
he makes for the perfect villain, existing as a sort of 21st century
Trans-Pacific Empire Ric Flair.
Naito remains an enigma, never getting to taste the fruits
of his popularity, even as he’s willing to spike himself on his head for the
love of the game. I feel for him, and I really hope he gets to take it all home
at some point. But yeah, man, this is
Jay White’s universe now.
Jay White is Ric Flair as imagined by Ridley Scott and it is
amazing to watch. He is just incredible in this role, and I can’t believe there
are people out there dumping on him. He is the king of wrestling right now in
my very important opinion, and I can’t wait to see him war with Okada and Juice
and Ibushi and Sanada and everyone else for years and years and years. You don’t
have to like it, but you better respect it because he’s the best thing going
today.
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